Maybe I’ve been watching too much Drag Queen painted perfection “realness”…
Or maybe its just the whole being a weirdo girl
But I am feeling really low about my body image.
All I see are the saggy,wrinkly, cellulite dimply places
I actually looked at pricing for a plastic surgery clinic to deal with my cellulite.
This feels awful
And completely not cute
BTW that cellulite elimination treatment costs the same as a new pair of tits. (Which I’ve sworn to never do, but I priced those too)
Or at least I am trying to be. Its hard not being at the top of anyone’s list. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it as a complaint. It is more like the occasionally painful reality.
It can be hard not to envy all the others around that have those connections. People that come first in their lives. Especially with all the little sweet reminders you see in advertising or memes or social media.
Meanwhile the only person with me as a priority, is me. I need to decide on what that means and see if I can learn not to be so brought down by all the importance I don’t possess.
Thing is if I did have that kind of connection I’d probably fuck it up.
Reality is cruel bitch.
When you hit a certain age its expected that you get over your traumas of youth
Kinda failing at that expectation.
Can I get an amen….
No one will ever love me enough to fill the void of my inability to love myself.
And baby, they all leave
They all do
And who can blame them?