There is this tugging at my brain, that slips into my fingertips. It dances over the keys of the keyboard in a staccato rhythm of creation. Thinking about Zed makes me want to write, to draw, to kiss, to hug, to touch; to do so many things!
I am not particularly manic at the moment, yesterday evening I was actually quite scattered and low. Today is more like a daze. I feel dreamy and cocooned. I am thinking a lot about Zed and all the things I enjoy about him. In spite of the fact I am rapidly realizing just how challenging it could get dealing with someone who is possibly as neurodivergent as myself. It doesn’t feel like a negative though, in fact it feels like a strange, glorious, ephemeral sort of positive. Or perhaps I am simply more mad than once thought. (maybe both)
It is so funny how our first kiss was catastrophe and now when his lips are on mine I tingle from top to toes. He fills me with fire. I want to bend over backwards and tie myself into pretzels to please and pleasure him.
I stare at him quite often. I can’t help it, my eyes are drawn back, again,again,again. So I am going to gush a little. I want to cherish and revel in this moment while I can. So some of the things I have noticed and adore are as follows.
The way he tips his head when listening intently to others around him. The way his voice dips and purrs when he says something particularly sweet just for me. How he takes his glasses off to eat. The movement of his hands and the almost delicate way they encounter the world. His crooked half smile when I catch him staring at me! The strong lines of his face, the cut of his jaw, the angle of his cheek bones and his pert nose. And his eyes, those dark, star field blue, eyes; and even though they deny him a clear view of the world, they are so incredibly beautiful.
The Teebeanery 